Thursday, November 15, 2012

Hello Fear

Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of it's dream.
-Paul Coelho

"The Innocent" from Kooza
Have you ever seen something that you totally didn’t “get”, but you liked it anyway? An opera or maybe a painting that spoke to you even though you couldn’t explain the meaning behind it. That is how I felt about the show Kooza.  I never really get the “story” in any of the Cirque Du Soleil performances.  There are usually clowns. There are tight rope walkers and contortionists and flying acrobats and live music. You are amazed and thrilled and entertained all at the same time. So who needs a story?

When I went to the traveling show last week, I had been in a really dark place for a couple of weeks emotionally. The next day, I woke up feeling light. The weight suddenly lifted. I felt like it had something to do with the show. There was something about seeing people perform so imaginatively. Something about pushing the limits of the human body and the limits of safety that was inspiring. But there was more to it, something I couldn’t quite put my finger on until today.

I just left a workshop with “joy expert” Lisa McCourt, the author of Juicy Joy: 7 Simple Steps to Your Glorious, Gutsy Self. Lisa is extremely insightful. Her class makes students confront what they like least about themselves, their worst fears and the worst things that ever happened to them. It was shocking that in such a diverse group of people, we shared the same pain and insecurities. Men. Women. Married. Single. Thirties. Fifties. Parents.  Childless. We all carry guilt.  We all feel alone with our secret shame. We all feel out of control and too controlling. Selfish, yet a stranger to ourselves. We all fear being judged or worse, being invisible. We all wonder what “enough” feels like.

I felt exhausted and at the same time uplifted at the end of class. It was reassuring to not be so disconnected for a change.  Lisa McCourt has mastered the art of loving her imperfections as much as her star qualities. She has mastered the ability to see unwanted situations or personalities in our life as gifts. She sees all experiences as learning experiences that allow us to grow into the person we are supposed to be, which is exactly who we are right now!

I looked up the story of Kooza after class today. Here is what the website says: Kooza is the story of The Innocent, a melancholy loner in search of his place in the world.The Innocent’s journey brings him in contact with a panoply of characters such as The King, The Trickster, The Pickpocket, The Obnoxious Tourist and his bad dog. Kooza explores themes of fear, identity, recognition and power.

It is Lisa’s story. It is my story. It is The Innocent’s story. It is our story. 

What is your worst fear? Write about it. Visualize it- in all its hairy, ferocious detail. Can you look it in the eye? What will you say to it?

1 comment:

  1. I'm going to have to borrow that Juicy book from you for sure. Sounds like it's right up my alley.


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